Steven bought an apple And then he went home and fed it too his pet Jim (he was a fish and then sadly died from being overfed)

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Barack Obama

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"knock knock" "ill get it honey" "no stay in the kitchen bitch!"

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What's worse than standing in line at Walmart? Being raped. What's worse than paying an outrageous amount for whatever it is you bought at Walmart? Being pregnant with a rape baby.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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a blond, brunette, and red head all walk out of a hair salon.

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A very ugly man with has sex with a lamb because he is so ugly. He subsequently gets ghonorhea and dies 2 years later of brain cancer.

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There was once a simple man. His life was far from what could be described as extravagant, living alone in a dingy apartment full of leaking taps and insects and lacking a working refrigerator. He wasn't an ungrateful man but he often wondered why life was cruel to him and prayed every night for something magical to happen, whether it be a brand new life, or even something simple like a new fridge. One fateful late afternoon as he staggered along the dim backstreet, partially crippled and pained from his standard day of labour, he came across a brass lamp just laying in the street. Glancing around, the man bent down to pick it up, knowing very well the story of the genie in the lamp having just watched Aladdin the previous night. Peering into its dull surface, he saw eyes staring back at him, eyes he didn't recognise. Anxiously, he ran his hands over the surface of the lamp, feeling the coolness of the metal on his rough blistered hands. But nothing happened! Disappointed but desperate for his dreams to be fulfilled, the man frantically shook the lamp, tears streaming down his face, wonder how life could be so cruel. Then a fridge fell out of the lamp and crushed him and he died the end.

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- Knock Knock - who's there? - Gestapo! open the door!

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Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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Whats funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costum

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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What is the best part about football The scoring

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Yeah? You like that? Its like art for some.

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John has 38 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

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What happens when you shoot chuck norris? he dies

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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How do you crash an airplane? By not knowing how to fly it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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