what did the white man say to the black man with the gun? Nothing he was dead

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A Japanese man walks into a bar, it collapses and then is demolished by a tsunami.

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Why couldn't the plane fly? The pilot was a muffin.

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A duck, a mailman, and a poet were contemplating suicide, then they changed their minds.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? Big Red that eats rocks. -For Abel

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Chuck norris survived rapture.

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what happened to your gran you tell me

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Lil' Wayne

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guy walks into a bar a metal bar ouch

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Its april fools day and a women is in labour and has to rush to the hospital. Her husband couldn't make it so it is just the doctor and her in the delivery room. 4 hours of labour go by and complications arise. 12 hours later she gives birth toa beautiful baby boy. The doctor wipes the baby off and goes to hand it to her but then suddenly pulls it back and kicks it a cross the room. The mother screamed "my baby boy!" and the doctor smiles and says "April fools! It was already dead!"

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You:why did the kid get a massage? Guest:Why? You:Cuz he wanted one.

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Why did jimmy fall of his bike? Because jimmy was a goldfish

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Why did the Flyers lose to the Blackhawks in the Stanley Cup? Because they aren't as good as the Blackhawks.

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What do you call a cannibal who won't eat his own brother? A pussy.

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Why is the black guy bad a Hockey? He was raped with a hockey stick by his father, after many years of pain and sex jokes, and the internet meme of the rapey daddy came out, the man then tryed to kill him self, but lived and the became a... shit i forgot, well long story short, it was roger from family guy.

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A white man and a black woman run for president The Black woman received 65% of all woman votes, 75% of all Hispanics and 99% of all black votes. The White man still won, and was a great president.

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What doesn't have opposable thumbs, barks at the mail man, eats dog food, and is good at every sport? Air bud

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Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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haha, you're an orphan

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Goats are like mushrooms. If you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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A) Knock Knock. B) Who's There? A) Me. B) Oh, well I'm in the shower, just give me five minutes. A) OK, I'll wait in the kitchen, is it cool if I heat up a hot pocket? B) Yeah sure, just not the pepperoni one, I only have one left and I was saving it for lunch. A) Alright.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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