Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stappled to the chicken.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, This poem's cool. I ran over your dog.

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*Ring* *Ring* Bartender : Hello? Stranger:Is Mike Hunt their? Bartender: Mike Hunt! Is Mike Hunt here?! Mike Hunt: Oh thank god! I've been anticipating this phone call for a while now! I've been stranded here for hours and my wife's been killed and the killer is still out there!

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Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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friends are like potatoes you eat them they die

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D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

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What happened to the little boys house? It burned down. How did the boy die? In the fire.

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whats white and sticking?... glue, you dirty bastard

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue your mum went to the loo and out came you

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- I did your mom last night! - Thanks, Dad.

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This isn't a joke, but I'm going to ruin the fun of this site by clicking the thumbs up until I one day get onto the first page.

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Samantha ate 62 cookies. Then she ate 300 more. How many did she eat after that? None she didn't for the next 6 years after developing an eating disorder.

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Why did John fall off the tree? We were throwing rocks at him.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He did not have a proper grip on it.

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What is the difference between black people and HIV? They are of a specific ethnicity whom which share specific ideals and background; whilst the other is a virus contracted from sexual intercourse.

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You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon

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what's worse than finding out god isn't real? finding out he is

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What's the difference between my car and a pile of dead babies? You can't eat my car.

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What do video games and school have in common? Nothing, nobody likes school

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops