Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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whats long and black? a baton

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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what to you call a black person that flies planes? a pilot YOU RACIST

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Kah-________-

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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why was the black man in jail? He stole food from a store due to the fact that his family was very poor and could not afford to fend for themselves.

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What did the little girl do with her puppy? She killed it.

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School : Todays lesson, 1 + 1 = 2 Exam, find the radius of the sun

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Q:Whats worse than 100 babies in 1 dumpster? A:1 dead baby is 100 dumpsters.

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your mom

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Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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- Mother, where's my bread? - It's in the living room.

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What is worse

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Chuck Norris can drive a car using just his hands and feet!

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what do you call a shoe with legs? roadrunners.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interupting cow Interu--- MOOOOOO!!

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what did the lawyer say to the lawyer? "whats up lawyer?" what did the banana say to the banana? nothing bananas dint talk...

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I use to be an adventurer like you! Then I got bored.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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