how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what happened to the polish man that was running late for work he got their late apparantly

thumb_up thumb_down +23

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Q- Why was Dan mourning the death of his wife? A- He wasn't he was mourning the death of his daughter who was killed in the same car crash as her mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What sucks?

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How did the bald lady die? Of cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

knock knock use the doorbell. our door has a hive of bees in it. three ambulances and a pest control squad was at the house five minutes later.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why did the Mexican cross the border? He was being deporting because he over stayed his visa and is now an illegal immigrant

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Being a demigod and slaying monsters isn't normal, but on myth it is. MYTH: Not even once.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You mamma so fat, she should consider going on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women"s Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Do you need any assistance?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. How is a monkey like a tricycle? A. They both have handlebars... except for the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops