A blond, a brunette, and redhead are trapped on an island. They all try to swim across shark infested waters to the mainland. While they're swimming, the blond turns to the redhead and says, "This water is mildly cold." The redhead replies "Yeah."

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

how do you wake up lady gaga? scream in her ear.

If your South American in the kitchen, what are you in the bathroom? European ( your a pee an)

how do u make a sausage roll push it down a hill

A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

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Where do rabbais go to shop? At the supermarket like everyone else.

What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

Why did the girl drop her ice cream her cone broke

Roses are pink. Violets are pink. The brony just took a dump. Don't give me that shit!

What's up? The sky.

Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

What was the color blind boy's favorite color? I don't know? neither did he

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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