What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

What did the black man, chinese man, and mexican man all have in common? They all happened to enjoy cantaloupe.

you know what hurts.... PAIN

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

A black man and an asian woman have a baby. Then a hispanic and a native american have a baby. Their babies have a baby. What is the baby? Society's worst nightmare.

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

How many jews can you fit in a car? That depends on the volume of the car and the size of the people involved - different cars are of different sizes and can fit a different number of people. For instance, you could probably fit more than 20 midget jews in a van but you could probably not fit as many overweight jews in a coupé. However if you put some effort into getting as many standard sized people, in this case jews for reasons unknown, into a standard size sedan you should be able to fit about seven or eight in the car itself and one in the trunk, making a total of nine or ten.

Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

Bin Laden is dead.

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

how many fish does it take to turn on a lightbulb None, lightbulbs dont work in the ocean

What did the one man say to the other? Nothing, they didn't know eachother

A British man walks into a dental office.

Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

Knock knock (No one is home)

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

Q: What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a pool? A: A man with no arms or legs in a pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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