Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A llama walks into a pub. Actually, he didnt, because it is physically impossible for a llama to stand up and proceed to walk over 2.8 feet. That stat was a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the jailbird sing? It makes Bubba horny.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary? A: According to the Oxford English Dictionary (second edition), it is "Pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism."

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Where do cows go on the weekend? The slaughterhouse.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

thumb_up thumb_down +2

If life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

thumb_up thumb_down

slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

thumb_up thumb_down

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down

obama is a good president

thumb_up thumb_down

How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

thumb_up thumb_down

three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you kill a blond wearing a hat? Shoot her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the woman buy her husband? Nothing, she's a widow.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops