I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +54

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

GRAAAAAAAAAAAR.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

two guys are waiting at a train station...6 hours later one guy turns to the other and says "train aint coming"

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What do You call a black porn star from alaska? By their first or full name depending on your relationship with them and the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops