what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, D1ck in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Do you know how I know that you're gay? You told me you are gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

"Hello." "Hi."

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -41

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Wolf Pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -47

I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Whats helped us not be mad at Osama Binladen. His death.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

thumb_up thumb_down +82

Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

thumb_up thumb_down +74

How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +72

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Barrack Obama shops at Baby Gap

thumb_up thumb_down +54

When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Rebecca Black.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops