Why was johny late to school? He died

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A person walked into a bar, he saw it was the wrong bar so he leaves...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is the difference between a baby and a tampoline? You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Mmmm, donuts

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a blond harvesting penuts a penut farmer.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A bar walks into your mother.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops