An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Why did Susie fall off a swing? She had an inner ear infection.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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What's the difference between a black guy and a picnic table? Many things, really. Beginning with simple structural features such as the number of legs, of which there happen to be four on a generic picnic table, and two on a human being. One might observe that a typical african american male is between 5'8" and 6'2" in total length, whereas a picnic table, being made to support 6-8 people will generally be slightly longer. A black guy will generally be pictured standing upright. A picnic table is usually horizontally laid out upon a flat surface. The former is living or dead, the latter is usually nonliving, processed wood or metal. The former may move about from day to day of its own accord, the latter is completely stationary, and indeed very difficult to relocate, etc.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue It is Valentines Day So I had to get them for you or we would get into a big fight, which will end up with me on the couch.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I don't know, but you need a psychiatrist.

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the your face joke

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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Busted? What the hell is going on?

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a beagle? An abomination.

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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how do you fit 100 jews in a car? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back seat, and 95 in the ash tray.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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