i punched my mother in the face once she cried

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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Roses are nice, Violets are glorious, Try not to scare, Oscar Pistorius.

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Apple hates Blackberry.

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Why did the boy ask his dad for a phone? Because he had his head stuck up a sheeps bum

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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a dyslexic man walked his god.

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Who looks like Bill Cosby, Smells like Bill Cosby, But isn't Bill Cosby? An imposter who should be sent to jail.

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whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both lawyers.

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How do you make a dead baby float? Two scoops of vanilla ice cream and two scoops of dead baby.

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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what do a blonde and a brunette have in common? They were both red-heads until they walked into great clips.

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A small mexican boy saves up enough money to buy his very own skateboard. His mother is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If it wasnt for christmas We would all be jewish.

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A apple a day is good for your overall health and you should schedule check ups with your doctor to maintain good health and avoid seeing him everyday.

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A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops