What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

When life gives you lemons Unless it gives you sugar, water, and a cup your lemonade will suck

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

Whats faster than a black guy with a tv? His brother who is a dentist and drives a fast sports car.

hmm, thinking, thinking, SNAPPLE!

why does big tom run the dock because he knows how to speak to skiiers

What does a weasel and a naked college girl have in common? No clothes

I've been reading these for the past hour and you guys are just out right terrible! -Sarah

whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

Why did the chicken cross the road? No reason.

A duck, a goose, a turkey and a bald eagle were all flying together. All four of them were shot and killed by drunk hunters with machine guns. The hunters were promptly arrested by police authorities for shooting their national symbol. They were found guilty, and the other three birds were cooked for their last meals.

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

So this guy filled with blood, right? This caused his veins to protrude and him to bleed strongly when he cut his wrists with razors later that night- because of his struggle with depression and substance abuse.

why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

How many squirrels does it take to screw out a light bulb? None because squirrels lack the strength and mind set to screw out a light bulb.

Why was the man so angry? Because the woman was not in the kitchen

What happens when you take a break from reality? Nothing, it's impossible, unless you live in a virtual world.

Until further notice Penn State's take your child to work day has been canceled.

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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