what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Q:Whats worse than stubbing your toe? A: Watching a terrorist saw your dads arm off.

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There was 2 friends named Shutup and Trouble. They were camping and Trouble got lost in the woods. Shutup called the police. Shutup: Hello, is this 9-1-1 my friend is missing. Police: What is your name sir? Shutup: Shut up Police: What? Shutup: Shut up Police: What did you say? Shutup: I said Shut Up Police: Hey are you looking for TROUBLE? Shutup: Yes! Police: Guess what? We found him, he's safe in the station. We will have a officer come by a drop him off. Have a good day Mr. Shutup Shutup: Thank you

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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how do you kill justin bieber? put a bag over his head and suffercate him.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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What's the difference between an Elephant and a Post Box? An Elephant is not a Post Box. It is an Elephant.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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What did the racist white guy say to the black guy? "I don't like Asians."

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What happens when you Shoot a guy with a red Shirt On? He Dies.

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Why did the asian man crash? He fell asleep after a long 18 hour day of driving, plus he was listening to soothing soul music.

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You are right, the past still has its claws deep within me thank you friend.

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What's worse then ten dead babies in a barrel? The one at the bottom is still alive.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not. Sally..

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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How does a cow does a cow do an evil laugh?

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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HOW MANY CRACK-HEADS DOES IT TAKE TO CHANGE A LIGHT BULB? NONE, THERE AIN'T NO ELECTRICITY IN THE CRACKHOUSE!!!

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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