What did Elmer Fudd say when Bugs Bunny got away again? "Oh, dat dawn wabbit, I'ww get it some day".

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There once was a mam from Peru He dreamed he was eating a shoe It wasn't... It was a goat

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Can you spot the polar bear Probably not because global warming killed it

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Dam. Mothers Against Dyslexia.

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Why did the boy stop singing? Because his lungs collapsed.

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Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

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whats purple and attacks like a bear? a purple bear

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Two Scientologists walk into a bar. For $5,000 you can hear the rest of this joke.

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Wath black poeple eat for christmas your food.

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A chicken crossed the road. It was run over before reaching the other side. by fast asleep

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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Your mother is so fat that I would call her quite fat indeed.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your pear.

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: BABABABABA BABABA RARARA LALALA ETC YOU GOT THE DRILL Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY!Ungrateful kids. Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Sociopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.Heck if you look at episode 34 you can see a tall handsome dude choking the life of a little boy in the background, and then letting him go just before he passes out and chokes him again? FUN FOR HOURS!

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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What did the group of black men do to the old white woman? Gave her back the purse she dropped.

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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