Why did the Jewish man leaves a coffee shop without leaving a tip? He was homeless and spent his last cents on the coffee.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the old man die? He was old.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Two men were walking down the road when one of them spotted an old lamp lying in a ditch. After examining the lamp's handiwork for several seconds one man rubbed the lamp with his shirt sleeve. The men then continued down the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

rarw

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why was the boy scared? Well, his mother had recently taken up Satanical ideals and in an attempt to sacrifice themselves to the Dark Lord, she drove her car off a cliff and into a lake. Now, with his dead mother in the drivers seat, no way to call emergency services, and 300 feet of water between him and the surface, you can see why he'd be scared.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +19

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Have you heard the one about the blonde and the bear? No. Me neither.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A Quadriplegic walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many black people does it take to for there to be a murder? None. A murder is a group of crows,not black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why do we oftenly see african cry for nothing? Because this is the only way they get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill a cripple? You bite its fucking face off

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A woman sees a sign on a store that says "husbands for sale." Curious, she walks inside. The clerk says "These men will be perfect husbands, they'll cook and clean for you and see to your every need." Shocked, the woman calls the police and reports the store for human trafficking.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you wake up lady gaga? You set her alarm clock for a reasonable hour.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops