I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says "Holy cow it's hot in here!" The other one says "Wow, I'm a muffin and I can TALK!"

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Too get to the other side. Duuu no one crosses the road to get killed.

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Sometimes I finger myself to some Madonna and Mary J. Blige shit. - Jesse

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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I wonder what mute people say to themselves. :/

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

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what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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What's the difference between a bowl of chili and a urologist? One's hot n' spicy and the other analyzes urine. -Emo Phillips

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What do you call a lord of the rings poster with nothing on it? A piece of paper

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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What do you do if an elephant comes through your window? Pay For a new window

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What did the drunk man say to the average civilian? Blahaahahahahahuhuh!

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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When is the best time to wear a striped sweater? All the time.

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One day Jesus said to John, " come forth and recieve everlasting life." Sadly John came in fifth and won a toaster.

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Q: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? A: "Here come the elephants over the hill!"

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Q.How many blonds does it take to change a light bulb? A.1

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What did one door say to the other door? Nothing, cause doors don't talk.

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What did the monkey say to the lion? I'm being sexually abused by my handler, and feel so violated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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