I told my friend one of these anti-jokes, he took it seriously and beat my head with a bat.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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The duck didn't cross the road.

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

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Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

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Sir, your wife is dead

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What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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what do you call a man who likes other men? A fag

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Q. Why did the lotion soothe the person's skin? A. Because its ingredients were selected because of their propensity to soothe skin.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

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Did you hear about the man hear about the man who lost an arm and a leg in a car accident? He's alright now.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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