When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Q: Why can't you give Elsa a balloon? A: Because she is a fictional character.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Knock knock. Who's there? Josh. Lettuce who? I didn't say "lettuce"... I said Josh.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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i like turtles

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Q: What do you call an exact duplicate of Homer Simpson who's been enhanced with numerous special powers and a strength-boosting inducer among other beneficial additions? A: A mobidly overweigth individual who hasn't realized what the phrase, "Go on a diet", even denotes/implies.

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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what's worse then a blowjob?

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A white man/women works behing the counter at a 7/11

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Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

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Two cows are sitting in a bathtub. One cow says please pass the soap. The other cow says nothing, cause it's a cow, making it incapable if speech. The other cow was just a guy in a cow costume.

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Its the pizza man. Get your yellow no good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead. 1,2...10

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Roeses Are Red Violets Are Blue He's The One For Me And Not For You, And If You Try To Take My Place I Will Take My Fist And Smash Your Face(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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