(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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A brunette, redhead, and blond were on a road trip. Their car broke down in the middle of the desert. The redhead offered to get help down the road, but never returned. The blond and brunette walked the direction the redhead went, but died four days later of heat exhaustion.

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A frog and a toad eat a pie and then realize it is weird and then die.

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See now, that is because you consider yourself my submissive on a both concious and subconcious level, your body and mind wants me to take care of you. I could say it is because I read minds, but why read minds, when I can create them, why read the future, when you can create it. Finally, lets take a look into the word, nerve endings yes? Not nerve endings baby, its called Suggestion. But seriously though, lets put the word nerve endings on top of the word suggestions again there. Nerve endings, did I mention it works on your butt too? You see, usually you would say no, but you do know that now that I am your master, you do and enjoy as I say? See you baby. Moral: "Feel the grove, I control the way you move"

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dementia.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Against city ordinates, an old woman was keeping chickens in her suburban back yard. One escaped, and there was no where else to go.

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Q.What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, no head, and no blood in his body? A.Dead.

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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What part of a vegetable are you not supposed to eat? His wheelchair.

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A: Why did the chicken cross the road? B: Why? A: If I knew I wouldn't be asking you.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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What did the schoolgirl say to some of the people of Anti-Joke.com? You're sick. Stop talking about the Holocaust.

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Why was the uneducated black guy raped? To make this joke more risky and therefore funnier.

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Who is green? Mike Wazowsky.

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What does a hooker eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner? Food.

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If at first you don't succeed, go kill yourself

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Parkinsons, ;oshgfs;jgbRHG

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What is worse than the holocaust paying taxes

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A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: WHERE'S MY TRACTOR?!

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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