Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Q: How do you shoot blue flames from your hands? A: You start to duck and lean forward quickly before you fully reach to duck as you punch as hard as you can, a blue flame should come out as Japanese bullshit automatically spews out of your mouth. It should not take more than a try or two...

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Knock Knock Who's there? 9/11

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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What did the duck say to the other duck? Something, But us humans don't speak there language to understand

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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A kid walks into a bar. He leaves wasted.

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Knock knock *open*

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How do you get 100 Jews into a car? You can't. It's physically impossible.

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Why did the pervert cross the road? Because he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken.

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A man jumped off a cliff and wished he could fly. He was hit by a plane

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Why do things made by Glen taste so good? Because he has mastered the cream

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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Donald Duck walks into a drug store and asks the lady behind the counter for a bag of condoms. So the lady says, "Sure thing sir, would you like me to put that on your bill"? Donald says," THIT(Shit)NO, I'LL THUFFOCATE! (Suffocate)

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Why can't Jesus eat M&Ms? Because they weren't invented when he was alive.

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Why didn't Jane text James? Because she was kidnapped.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

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is it normal to be sexualy atracted to numbers?

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In the North people say "once upon a time." What do people in the South say? "Y'all never gonna believe dis shit!"

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What happens when Chuck Norris and Mr. T get into a car accident? They trade insurance information.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops