A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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A man walks into a bar... He has a severe drinking problem, and his wife weeps for him

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What did the anti-social man say to a girl Nothing

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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a jew, a muslim and a christian all walk into a bar; because of the difference in religion im afraid such an event is unlikely to occur in the future.

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Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock,knock Who's there? Apple Apple who? Knock, knock Who's there? Lemon Lemon who? Lemon know if you want me to say apple again

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why are the Harold and Kumar movies really funny? the man who wrote obvieusly has a good sense of humor.

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Roses are red, violetes are red, I'm colorblind

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A child finally stood up to the school bullies! Recently the news did a story about a school shooting.

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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find the o 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duh its up top

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Q:Whats the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? A:One less drunk

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whats the difference between harry potter and a jew? harry potter can escape the chamber

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Whats the most impotent thing to remember when your going skateboarding? A skateboard.

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A Black Guy, A Rabbi, And A Mexican walk into a bar, the bartender looks up and says "Get Outta Here We're Closed!"

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Q: Why did the 10 year old squirt his dad with the water hose? A: What to year old WOULDN'T?

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Why did the little boy fall down? Be he had the downs.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

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Why did the prostitute begin to cry when she saw the chinese patron's penis? His testicles are diced onions.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "why the long face?" The horse says "I just found out I have AIDS"

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops