RUN

thumb_up thumb_down -22

How can you tell your not italian? You aint no Guito!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A poor woodcutter accidentally dropped his axe into the nearby river when taking a particularly forceful swipe at the tree he was cutting. He felt so dejected he wept. Then, the goddess of the river appeared. "What ails thee, my dear man?" she asked. "My axe -- it fell in the river!" stuttered the weeping woodcutter. "Do not worryI am the goddess of this river, and will find your axe!" said the River Goddess and dived into the river. After waiting eagerly for several minutes, the woodcutter was resigned to the fact that he had imagined the River Goddess.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is both blind and deaf, and doing so would put others in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Guys are like a sax. If no sound comes out, you're probably not blowing hard enough.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? She was a woman

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What did the slave say to its master? Nothing meanwhile he and his family had terminal cancer and were worked without pay for 20 years before dying fro, multiple cases of AIDS and infections within thier lungs and mouths.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why can't Ray Charles read? Cuz he is blind You illiterate uneducated racist bastard trying to say it was because he was black.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why did michele jackson rape a kid. because he was horny duhhhh!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

what is big, grey and sits in the middle of a field. A filing cabinet

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What was the first thing that went through the mind of the first 9/11 jumper? Thank god I only jumped from the first floor.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the black man buy a watermelon? To give to his wife to cut up for his family to have at a picnic

thumb_up thumb_down -22

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Rock a by baby, In a tree top When the wind blows The cradle will rock, When the bough breaks The cradle will fall And down will come baby Dying on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

I can't hear you. I have carrots in my ears.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

deez nuts

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What is worse than catching someone trying to cheat by looking at your exam? Getting struck by lightning.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Basically

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops