How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

What is funnier than an anti-joke? My SAT scores.

Why was the dog barking? Because I lit him on fire.

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

Ebola

Your moms so fat she struggles to to everyday tasks

Why does Magic Johnson have to use extra-large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Have you seen Steve Wonder's house? No. It's okay, neither has he.

A Jew and a Muslim are playing golf. Just not together.

What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

when chuck norris does a pushup, he is tearing the muscles in his biceps, deltoids, core, and triceps in order to make them stronger.

What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

Roses are dead Violets are too Were all gonna die So are you.

Did you hear the one about the koala bear that fell out of the tree? Yeah it died.

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

"Whats that boy? Timmy fell down the well??" Bout time

Why couldn't the Muslim eat pork? He didn't have a tongue.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

guess what? i dont know, what? i dont know either, i thought you knew.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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