What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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Why did Abraham Lincoln fall asleep at the movie? He was shot several times in the back of the head.

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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a kid was born with down syndrome on christmas night

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What would you do if your penis disintegrated? Never mate again.

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Stop reading these anti-jokes and go study for your externals!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead, ok!

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Knock, Knock Who's there It's me open up the D#### door it's me open up the D#### door, who? just open the door this is not a fricken knock knock joke.

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What did goldilocks say to the three bears? she was savagely murdered before she could say anything.

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2 doctors are talking to each other: -Dead? -Dead.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

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Wanna hear a joke? Niklas Bendter being good at soccer. Wanna hear a funnier joke? Your Mom Wanna hear the funniest joke?

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whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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people who spank you sure are a pain in the ass.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms

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How do my feet smell? Oh wait. They can't. Feet are not sentient independent beings and therefore cannot experience the five senses, including smell.

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nothing drews nose is f**ing hilarious

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What did the red apple say when it saw a black man an irish man, and an asian walk into a bar? nothing apples cant talk.

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Q: WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SKINNY PERSON AND A JESSE? Answer: THE SKINNY PERSON IS VERY LEAN AND THE FAT PERSON IS VERY JELL-OUS

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What did the old Hispanic man say to the young black woman in the Laundromat? I don't know cause I goofed in school and didn't pay attention in spanish class.

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What's similar between a black man and jelly babies? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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