Knock knock Who's there? Owl Owl who? Owl Johnson, your neighbor. Oh hi Owl, please come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was Timmy sore? He'd been playing with his cornhole along with his friends all day!

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Johnny throw his money on the floor? Because he was giving it to charity

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Woman are equal and deserve respect just kidding they should suck my ****

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How did the girl cross the road? --she didn't, she died trying because she was blind and didn't see the sign that said "Don't Walk"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Opinions are like assholes. I'm not sure how they are alike, but that seems to be the general consensus.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

How do you call a gay that is playing poker with friends You say "call" and place the right amount of fiches on the table, at that moment you are still in the race to win the pot.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What is the best part about being a rapist? The orgasms.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

So this drunk guy pokes this girl. 4 months later she has a misscarrage

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the chicken say to her chicks? One day I'll explain why we do this. For now, just follow me.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What do you give a gay guy on his birthday? a invition to strait camp

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

There was a young boy walking to school. and he found a red hairbrush on the ground. He then proceeded to walk to school. During lunch he examined the haircrush and it looked perfectly normal. A few days later, he decided he was bored with the hairbrush and decided to place it in a tree. A girl found the hairbrush. The end. You just wasted 30 seconds of your life. Ha.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Whats worse than running out of hot water? A: having wyatt friedman poop on your chest, Hit him up on FB

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

You you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you you. Way do go lazy you didn't read all the you's so you didn't realize there was a yoo in there. But now you realize there aren't any yoo's there way to go.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A blonde is locked in a super-market. She dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A train conducter conducts at 60mph, when he goes under a bridge he goes at 52mph. When he goes over a hill he goes at 47mph, if he goes under 2 bridges and over 3 hills what did the conductors mother have for dinner that night. Nothing she was raped then promptly murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's the best way to make people notice you? Begin a cult that follows some crazy religious division and go on mass murdering sprees, looting, murdering, and raping everything that moves. Your prime targets should be schools, orphanages, and hospitals (maternity wards for bonus points). Eventually, walk up to the FBI unarmed and have them capture you. Then demand that you get interviewed, as you have instructed your followers that if you don't get to speak on public television, they will bomb multiple major cities. When they put you on TV, simply stare at the camera and say: "Senpai. The time has finally come for you to notice me." Then, because you are a cruel, heartless bastard with no morals whatsoever, have your men bomb the major cities anyway. Have fun!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's love like? Some people say it's like a lotus flower, others say it's like an orchid... Personally I'd like to say it's like a fire at the bottom of you're soul-- like when people sin and go to hell... that fire burns forever???

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops