Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what did the kid with no arms and no legs get for x-mas a bike

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What happens when a monkey eats banana. It throws them up and gets some blueberry pie.

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why did the girl cross the road? to get away from you

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What do a fish and an eagle have in common? They both live underwater aside from the eagle.

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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how do you delete your joke off anti-joke? you don't.

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How do you make a blonde woman act in a porno? You get her consent and pay her money.

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Why did Jessica fall off the swing? She doesn't have any arms Knock, knock Whose there? Not Jessica

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender in five states.

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Two cows in a field. One said, "Moo!" the other said, "Shit! i was going to say that."

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What is six foot three, plays basketball, and is black? A black dog with basketball skills and takes steroids.

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One kisses says: I have had 3 bottles of water today and I haven't peed yet. His friend says: O you probably have a urinary track infection.

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What sound did the Moon Man say to the Moon Woman? Nothing, there isn't an atmosphere so sound cannot travel.

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A Jew walked into Germany. He never walked back out.

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Knock Knock The guy opens the door

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want more?

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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*Wear a Mario costume* What happened to Luigi? I ate him.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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An asian man and a black man were having a conversation. The asian man sneezed. The black man got SARS and he died shortly after.

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why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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