Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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your mom is so rude that she took her t shirt of and her bra of she was not naked how did she get so rude she drank till one brain cell was left

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did you hear about the dyslexic, overweight, wheelchair bound blind guy? No? Niether did I, I'm deaf so don't hear about anything.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? orange? orange who? orange ya glad i didn't say your family was dead.

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What's worse than finding a fly in your soup? Being raped... What's worse than being raped? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two flies in your soup

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What's big and purple? Barney

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What do you do with a wombat? Allow it to freely express instinctive behaviour in its natural habitat.

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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What's brown, black, and red all over? The burning cross on the lawn of a respectable African-American family.

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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among liedbtt is my Captcha code

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Q - What do you call a hamburger without pickles? A - You call it a hamburger just without the pickles.

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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Why Did The Man Fall Off His Motorcycle? Because he hit a bus.

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Well, its allright then, just tired that is all, leave it be, I mean what if your wife sees it? What will she think?

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In Soviet Russia, test takes you... to a privileged University with an appropriate transcript.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police The police who? Sir, your wife is dead.

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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Why did Susan fall of the swing? She had no arms... Knock Knock... Who's there? Not Susan...

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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