A guy walks in to a bar and says to the bartender "I'm fed up with all these 'guy walks into a bar' jokes on anti-joke. The bartender says "I have no idea what you're talking about".

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- Knock, knock. -- How many dead babies does it take to cross the street and walk into a bar? - That's an odd question to ask to a visitor. -- Your mom.

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Why was the boy laughing at Sally? Because Sally was a man

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Llega San Pedro le dice a dios y se va.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a serial rapist.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Who won the race between the turtle and the hare? Well, odds are the two creatures wouldn't race given that animals do not speak. However, if they were, the hare would most likely win a land race because of its powerful legs and agility. However, if the turtle happened to be a seaturtle and the race took place underwater, our dear little beloved turtle would win, having the advantage over the rabbit.

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Why was the orphan's christmas sad? He got a violent chest infection and died.

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How many people like gang rape? 9 out of 10

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whats the difference between 69 and 6.9 theres a period in the middle

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Why did the black man fall down the stairs? Because he was blind

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MURRRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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"Ask me if I'm a tea pot" "Are you a tea pot?" "No" Try this on your friends

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was curious about something that had diverted his attention.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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