A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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A man walks into a Library.... And asks for a book.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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What begins with "B" and ends with "N" that you never want to call your neighbor? a Black Person

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What's long and blackand goes all night? night time

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he won't come anyways.

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

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did u ever hear a bird joke "no" hawkword

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar They are friends and continue to have a pleasant evening

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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What's black and sits at the top of the stair case? Stephen hawking in a house fire.......

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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A police man pulls over a blonde for speeding. The policeman tells her she was speeding and starts to write a ticket. She get emotional and begins to cry. He writes the ticket, she signs it, and she drives off.

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Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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Why is 6 so afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered six offender.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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