Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A: Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Put down your barbie. Get in the car.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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What does the blond say when she walks out of the salon Nothing, she is hit by a car, and promptly goes into a coma and hasnt said anything since

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Sprechen zie deutsche? nein!

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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Stat1st1cs sh0w 0ne 1n f1ve pe0ple d0n't understand b1nary

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet.

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your goin down...aint no tomorrow...wha bang bang

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What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

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Why did the Asian woman get into a car accident? She didn't pay attention in driver school and sped through a red light and hit a bus that killed 14 children.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Knock knock Who's there. Interrupting cow, sorry you can see where this is going, just let me in without asking any more questions please.

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Q: GUESS WHAT IS REALLY BAD????? A: TITTY CANCER! :0

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what is the worst thing a bout four black men driving a Cadillac off a cliff? they were my friends

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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