There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q why did the girl scream A she got hit with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did one blind person say to the other? Nothing. He is also mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the dog in Detroit die in the street? It was stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: What did the egg say to the boiling water? A: It'll take a while for me to get hard cause i just got laid by a chick(: hahah.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? It depends on how sound is defined

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the Ginger get for his birthday? A soul...................................……................……………•

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Having a Hippo give you head.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a black woman working at a bar? A Bartender. What do you call an asian woman working at a bar? A Bartender.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many Obamas does it take to screw an economy? What do you think?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What shouldn't you say to a dementia patient? You already said that.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

3 men walk into a bar, and the fourth guy behind them had the sense to duck under it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men, a doctor, a lawyer, and a biker were sitting in a bar talking over a few drinks. After a sip of his Martini, the doctor said, "You know, tomorrow is my anniversary. I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new Mercedes. I figure if she doesn't like the diamond ring, then at least she will like the Mercedes, and she will know that I love her." After finishing his scotch, the lawyer said, "Well, on my last anniversary, I bought my wife a string of pearls and a trip to the Bahamas. I figured if she didn't like the pearls, then at least she would have enjoyed the trip, and she would have known that I loved her." The biker then took a big swig from his beer, and said, "Yeah, well for my anniversary, I got my old lady a t-shirt and a vibrator. I figured if she didn't like the t-shirt, then she could go f*** herself."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wat did the man say to the other man when they were alone. We dont know. They were alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to my sunglasses?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops