What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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Why did the chiken cross the road? idk, i can't talk to chikens

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What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

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what do you call a cat that looks like a lion 7

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Women deserve equal rights.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender doesn't understand him because he doesn't speak duck and promptly calls animal control to have the duck removed.

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Knock knock come in.

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English.It is confused by it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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What do you call most people over 50 who aren't married. Divorced

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What happened to the man who poo'd too much? He started to eat less because his bowell movements started to cause him serious pain.

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Why couldn't Kelly finish her test? She spontaneously combusted.

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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Why do black people like kool aid? Why It is a very hydrating and delicious drink

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What's the difference between and orange? The horse wasn't wearing a saddle.

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What's the difference between a lamp?

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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Knock knock. Who's there? Auntie.

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops