Q. What did the 300 pound Asian get for Valentine's day A. A jetpack. Except for the fact that the previous sentence was an obvious lie making this whole joke irrelevant.

A guy walked into a restaurant. He sat down and had a lovely meal left the restaurant got in his car and went home. The End

How do you confuse a Mexican? Stand in the middle of a crosswalk while shouting "Cthulu will rise!" whilst looking at the sky and playing "Everybody Have Fun Tonight" by Wang Chung. Works every time.

How much dub could a dubstep dub if a dubstep could step dub?

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

What do you do when its night time and you go downstairs and see your tv floating in the air? you say PUT IT DOWN N I G E R

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

what would you get if you combined a sixth grader with a machine gun? A homophobe

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Why did the man commit suicide? He was depressed.

What say the mirror if i look in it,? He died

The bears will win the Super Bowl

How many dead babies can you fit in an oven? Depends on if you put them in the blender first.

Why are black people so dark? They originated from Africa

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

Why is Lindsay Lohan out of prison? No, I'm asking.

What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

Twelve muffins were baking in an oven. One muffin said "Where are we?" Another muffin said "Yikes! A talking muffin!"

Ich bin nicht der Anführer

So, two black guys walk into a bar... And they pay their tab and couldn't have been more courteous

Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease

How do you kill a vampire? You can't because vampires aren't real.

why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

Why couldn't the boy write his name because he had no arms.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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