have u been drinking cannabel soup because you........ahhhhh!!!!! why are you trying to eat me!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

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What happened to the twins? 9/11

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What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill? Look there's 100 elephants coming over the hill What did tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill with sunglasses on? Nothing he did not recognize them

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, broke his crown, sued the water company, bought a huge settlement and ran off with that slut Little Bo Peep.

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Yo momma's so skinny she doesn't have any fat!

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Q: why did Suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzy.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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What did the Asian say to his racist friend? You're racist

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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Why did they bury the fireman at the side of the hill? Because he was dead

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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What's bigger than China and Smaller than my penis? Russia and a smaller penis.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Charlie Sheen is winning

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Your mom is so fat, I do not see how she can possibly wipe effectively.

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Mum, "Why aren't you listening to me, are you deaf or something?" Son, (Silence)...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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