Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Why did the clown go to the doctor? Because he had a malignant tumor on his liver.

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Your mother is so fat that she is considered morbidly obese. In fact, she should seriously consider a weight loss diet to reduce her risk of heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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Whats funnier than 1 dead baby? 2 Dead babies

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What's worse than finding 16 dead babies in a tree? Finding 1 dead baby in 16 trees.

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Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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A jew enters a mall.

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Wooooah! Thats literally the sound I made, anyway, can you like type the entire story in one setting, I feel weird, did you just try to hypnotize me? Anyway, are you trying to, woah, I am like high now...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Why are black people afraid of chainsaws? Because chainsaws are potentially dangerous weapons that may inflict bodily harm.

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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There are a fox and a chicken and the fox eats the chicken.

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What did the black man say when he jumped in the pool? The water's nice, you should join me.

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What did the black man eat at a picnic? I don't know, I wasn't there.

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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What is worse then a bus driver A man who drives an ice cream truck

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once, my brother took my lard and gave it to the less fortunet

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops