Why did little Billy not eat all his carrots? He does not care about his vision.

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

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Q: What's black and white and rape kids? A: Pandas, I lied about the rape.

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So there is this moose and he goes to a grocery store and asks, "where are the potatoes?" the employee says "aisle 5" and when the moose checks in aisle five, there are no potatoes.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Something that's black, white, and red all over.

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What do you call a snooker cue that only hits stripes? Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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why did the baseball player strike out? he forgot the bat

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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What did hitler get for christmas??? Roughly 3 million dead jews in the ashtray

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

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Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

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What is the difference between a brick and a ginger? The entirety of their chemical make up and physical appearance.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Why did the black man jump high? He was on a pogo stick

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oh, brown loaf is fine, i'm on my bike.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops