99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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1500 Jews were ordered to walk a straight path whilst in the midst of a blizzard. How close did they ever get to the end? What end? They marched until every last bit of their rotten Jew flesh was driven from their weak bodies. --Amon Goeth

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Why did the fat ugly bald Jewish man go to the bank? He needed to take out some cash because he was going out for lunch at a highly recommended restaurant.

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Why was the boy sad? because the serotonin level in his brain was significantly lower than normal.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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Women's rights.

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whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping cart? One holds groceries. The other molests small children.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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What's better than eating an orange? Anal sex with Kim Kardashian.

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Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

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A black guy NOT arrested for being black.

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jack and jill went up a hill so jack could lick jills candy but jack got a shock and a mouth full of C O C K cause jill's real name was randy... ... and joe diragi liked it

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A man is walking down the street in Chicago. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks him, "Excuse me sir, how do I get to Carnegie Hall?", at which the man on the street said, "Go straight here, turn onto Birch, follow that to the second stop light, then turn left on Main, big complex, can't miss it." "Thank you!"

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Why was 2 afraid of 81? Because seven eight nine.

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The cream, it is coming

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A man had two kids who he loved very much but would always come home in a bad mood. On a Friday after returning home, he tells his wife, "I hate my life," then proceeds to take his anger out on her. If you were expecting for this to be a joke, then you clearly have some messed up humor. Abuse in the household isn't to be taken lightly.

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Cornflakes were an accident, so was Chernobyl

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OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS! 1. Hold your breath for 2 mins 2. Die

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reality TV.

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What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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If god himself had a religion he would be a self centered bastard.

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The number 69 is? Just a plain old number that has just as much meaning as 68 and 70.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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