What is white and flys at you from a tree? A refridgarator. I lied about the flying part.

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Why Tom is Gay ? Because brocoly didnt eat a mashroom .

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Q. Why did the boy fall off the swing? A. He had no arms or legs. Q. What did he get for Christmas? A. A drumset Q. Knock Knock Who's there Not him

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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A antijoke? The "new and better" Duke Nukem. "Power armor is for poossies! My ego is going to... ARGH! Both my arms are blown away... well Duke Nukem is too awesome! He uses his legs..ARGH MY LEGS! Well Duke Nukem is dead... but his ego will keep the remains of his corpse fighting aliens! Yeah ego!" Nukem: I got balls of fail...

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what did Stan say to Dave? nothing, Dave died 500 years before Stan was born, thus he said nothing.

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what does I.C.T mean when a teacher says it it means I cant teach

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Swag.

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What can hurt you if you pee on it? A rabid grizzly bear

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An overweight man is at a gym. he is trying to lose weight because he feels uncomfortable with his size.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- (commits suicide)

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What does Adolf Hitler hate more than Jews? Nothing.

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What do you call a skeleton in a closet? The hide-and-seek champion.

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LeBron James: Kobe, i got a ring will you stop making fun of me? Kobe Bryant: Yes Kobe and Michael Jordan: LeBron asked if he gets a ring if we'll stop making fun of him LeBron James: Hey Kobe why didn't you answer when i called? Kobe Bryant: Sorry, I only heard it ring once

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Q: Why can't Micheal J Fox draw a perfect circle? A: Because drawing a perfect circle is impossible for any human. Actually a perfect circle doesn't exist.

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A piece of paper got wet. I stuck it over the fireplace to dry off, but it lit on fire.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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