Eating food: Ugh disgusting! Taking a dump later: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Man, you are doing it wrong... Waterworld was a pretty dry movie, I mean when are they gonna start making movies with a bit of wet humor for a change? SERIOUSLY BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAY I AM NOT SERIOUS!

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What did Hitler say to the black jew? Get to the back of the oven

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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whats the difrence between a japaneese and chineese person? one is from japan and one is from china.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To look at the most interesting man in the world.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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Why do Jew's have long noses? To dig out of the ashes.

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Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Brother: Where is my Guitar? Me: To the Left to The left Brother : No its not Me: Everything you own in the box to the to the left Brother : Im telling Mom Me: In the Closet Thats my stuff and if i bought please don't touch Brother: *Opens Closet* This is all Mine! Me: *Takes off headphones*? Huh? Brother: Nevermind - _ -

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Twas brillig and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe, all mimsy were the borogoves and the momeraths outgrabe

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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What starts with F and ends in UCK? The F word but im not allowed to say it.

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Whats the difference between a watermelon and babies I don't have a pile of dead watermelon in my basement

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Menstrual jokes aren't funny. Period. Neither are 9/11 jokes. Just plane wrong Same with cripple jokes. Can't stand them I don't see why Helen Keller jokes are funny

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Why was Little Timmy crying ? He dropped his ice cream. Why did he drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus. Knock-Knock! Who's there? Not Little Timmy.

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Two bees are flying around a flower. "Hey," says one bee, "you ever think about the meaning of all of this? I mean, isn't there more to life than pollinating and satisfying the Queen?" The other bee replies, "No."

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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