What do you call 1 + 1 = 2? i like boobs

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Because skeletons don't get invited to parties because they are the remains of something that is dead and that would be a very ood thing to have at a party.

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Why did Suzie fall out of her swing? Because she had no arms.

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What do you get when you cross two things that are seemingly unrelated? A play on words.

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My friend thinks he's smart, He said that onions are the only food that make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

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Why did the pot-head have red eyes? He got soap in them.

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Knock, knock! Who's there? Mary Mary who? Mary Smith.

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Your momma is so fat, she has her own gravitational pull.

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the mean terrorist said "i am going to kill your mother" that mother is now dead

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2 muffins are in an oven. One says to the other, "it's really hot in here!" the other replies, "WHOA. A talking muffin!"

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A Lion walked into bar. He ordered a steak Because lions love meat.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Whats worse than a suicide bomber? Hubcaps

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A gay man goes out with a butch lesbian and develops a loving relationship, years later they get married and have kids, adopting them from the local orphanage and lives happily ever after.

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Black people don't exist. Their skin is rather of a brown tone.

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Why did the boy fart on his sister? Because he was sitting on her, and happened to pass gas.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because on the other side of the road people don't question his motives

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Why is 5 the best number? Because it's alive!

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whats worse than getting ur penis cut off......no holocaust

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a black guy, a handicap, a pervert, and a fat guy are sitting in at a booth in a bar... Your watching family guy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops