What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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What did the hobo get for Christmas? Nothing

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a psychopath

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A Chinese man and an African man walk into a bar. Its good to see so much multiculturalism in a usually racist society.

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what do you call cheese thats not yours? stolen, your under arrest

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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What has two leg, but cant walk? A paraplegic.

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When life gives you limes, say hey! wait a second ,aren't these meant to be lemons? then kill yourself

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knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

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why did the guy throw his clock out the window? because he wanted to see a clock fall out the window

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How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

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I'm on a see food diet- it consists of fish and molluscs. sea*

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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What is white and cannot jump? A refridgerator.

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Whats worse than being rapped by a giant scorpion. Being gangbanged by a couple giant scorpions

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Why don't women wear watches?...Because the economy is at an all-time low and it would be reasonable to presume that a person couldn't afford an item like this, thus, trying to budget in a watch that could cost anywhere from 50-100$ would be a risky financial move depending on their yearly salary.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why was the jewish boy crying? i lied he was happy.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Why is the sky blue? Time to get a watch.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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what did the judge say to the lawyer during a trial. He said We are all in a court. thus concluding that the judge was retarted.

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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