How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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what's worse than the holocaust? black people whats worse than black people? mexicans Whats worse than mexicans? 2 mexicans Whats worse than 2 mexicans? Africa

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What's green and fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it falls from a tree it'll kill you? A pool table.

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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An asian woman was driving along the freeway one day when a police officer pulled her over and arrested her, The officer arrested her because she had killed her husband 5 years ago and she thought she had gotten away with it.

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Why did the boy lick the window? He had Down's syndrome

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? By murdering his family.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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My dad calls me a son of a bitch and I'm like "hey! You married her"

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped 9.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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How do you call a black guy flying a plane? A pilot.

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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