anti-joke.ru - russian style

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what's the easiest way to tell time? a clock

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What does an orange and a lemon have in common? They are both orange, exept lemon

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the boy get diagnosed with Cancer? I don't remember I have Alzheimers.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she has no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A blind man walks into a bar, and a table, and a chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is both blue and yellow at the same time? Green.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A shocking example of the cruelty suffered by animals at hands of humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

"Knock knock!" "Who's there?" "A door to door salesman. Are you unsatisfied with the way your dish soap handles your plates? Then I have the product for you!" "I'm not interested in your product, but thank you anyway." "No problem. On an off note, how did you hear me? I didn't speak very loudly when I said knock knock, and I didn't even bother to knock on the door or ring the doorbell." "I have really good hearing." "Oh, okay. And for future reference, maybe you should open the door when talking to a visitor. Then body language gets established and the conversation flows more nicely that way." "That's some good advice, and I'll take it. Thanks, salesman." "You're welcome. On to the next house."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

God wrote this joke.................................

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A boy asked his dad Why are Chinese eyes like that. His dad replied there concentrating that's why there so smart The boy went up to a student in his class and said look I'm like you The teacher asked who told him that he said his dad The dad was called up by the school when the teacher told him what his son did he went GOOZILLA His wife asked him what he was up to and he said farting on her face when she was a sleep 3 days later he found out his wife was cheating on him he knocked on the door only to realize he was on drugs and that he never had a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the chicken cross the road? Being a chicken, it had no concept of roads or their dangers and was simply trying to find some feed.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I heard you like getting dirty, so I got a dump truck to dump dirt on your bed so you can get dirty while you get dirty.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What's is the worst thing america has done? Jersey Shore, We mad those idiots rich.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops