Two girls were taken away mysteriously in the night. The next day, no one cared because they were orphans.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to its dying chicks who were just run over.

Why didn't the woman cross the road? She died from breast cancer.

why was the asian women such a bad driver? she was blind and had no arms

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

what did the robot say to the black guy? I'LL BE BACK

Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

roses are red violets should be purple

Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

Whats worse then a hundred dead babies? One trying to eat its way out.

Why doesn't Charlie Sheen take showers? Because he spends too much time on MySpace.

What do Vladimir Putin and a snake have in common? A central nervous system, to name but one of the many biological similarities.

So a baby seal walks into a club...

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

A drunk guy walks into a bar. He orders a beer and the bartender says "Hey pal, you look and act really drunk, I don't think I can serve you any more alcohol." The man looks up to the bartender and says "You're right, I'm really drunk."

Steve Jobs didn't die. He went to go set up iCLOUD.

when choosing a bedtime story.... jack the rippers life stories is not a good idea... ........................................................................

What do you call a Mexican hockey player? A hockey player.

Knock knock. Who is there? The FBI. They have a warrant for your arrest.

how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

If everyone in China jumped up and down at the same time they would lose all credibility as a nation for organising such a pointless excursion.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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