why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why did the bear eat the asian? It was hungry

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a man checks his brand new cellphone to see if he has a text message... He has cancer

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How do you make a baby float? Two scopes of Ice cream and two scopes of baby.....and the holocaust.

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How do you cure aids? Jonathon siezed to care as he proceeded to cry when he was told his lemons were over the weight of what he'd expected

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Then none of us want to be right.

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If Jimmy had 5 apples and his brother had 5 apples then their father would have been married to their mother before they were born.

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What's worse than stubbing your toe? Nothing. Stubbing your toe hurts like hell.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Do you have to be so, you know... Open about what we are gonna do and stuff? I mean I know some people here, and you are a married man and you know.

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Fine, this better be worth it, this is no time to be a jackass Nero.

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What did the pony say when it lost its voice? Nothing. Ponies are incapable of speech.

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how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

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Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of tree? A Pool Table

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how many baby's does it take to clean paint your house red. depends on the quality of the crusher.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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Why was Timmy's hair shaved? He had cancer and was going though Chemo.

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Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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