A dyslexic man's favourite clothing shop is Tampon.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

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Q: Why did the fork cross the balloon? A: Apples

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Yo mama's so fat that after her enima, she looked skinny and rather nice

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1 out of 4 questions. How do you get a girrafe in a fridge? Open it, put the girrafe in, and close it.

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What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

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How do you drown a blonde. Put a scratch 'n' sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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Why do girls enjoy listening to Justin Biebers music? Because he sings moderately well and appeals to a younger audience.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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"Ask me if I'm a lamp." "Are you a lamp?" "No."

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being sober in a bar fight

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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hi dave

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A girl hears a noise in the middle of the night in her kitchen downstairs. She walks down halfway through the staircase and asks if anyone is there, as if the intruder will say, "Yes, I'm in the kitchen. Want me to make you a sandwich?" *This will never happen. Movies are stupid when it comes to these scenes. No one will actually ask if anybody is there if they hear a noise in the middle of the night.*

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The schoolboy said to the bus driver, this is my stop the bus driver replied "no, we have a while to go yet"

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Why didn't the kid get a bike for Christmas? Because his parents died and Santa's not real

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally, she has no arms.

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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what does mandy enjoy on weekends a load of cum in her face

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"knock knock" "who's there" "I dont know, check the door"

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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