Why does Michael J. Fox always have his martinis shaken? He thinks they taste better that way.

What did the Hungarian say before he went to bed? "I'm going to bed," but he said it in Hungarian.

A young black man walks into a KFC. He takes a quick stop in the bathroom and continues on the road to his ivy league college.

What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

whats worse than someone blowing out all your birthday candles? a piano dropping on your head.

why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

Roses are Red Violets are blue I have short term memory loss Hey look thats my bike over there.

what is white on top and black on the bottom? Society

What did the wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls don't talk.

Q: Why did the man have aids? A: He had unprotected sex with a man who had aids.

A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

Roses are gray, violets are gray. I'm color blind.

How do you kill a blonde? Tell her she can breath underwater.

Why didnt the cannibal like the taste of the comedian? because the comedian smelled very bad and the cannibal forgot to add salt.

i got 99 problems.... and aids is one

Call of Duty is a good game.

A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware River? Men, to the boats.

How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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