What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? Make me one with everything.

COME HERE, POTTER!!!! NOW!!! Instead of agreeing to approach the source of the rather hostile summoning, Potter decided to sit down and eat a healthy vegetarian lunch of sausages and chips.

How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

69 :) 3====D:). [{}]:)

Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

Knock Knock. Who's there? (Knocker runs for his life).

Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

What does it mean if your born on opposite day? you have sids

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she was a woman.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Dieing in a hole.

The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

are u black unlucky

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination" and then he was resuscitated and became an atheist.

Roses are red Violets are actually purple You should probably see an eye doctor.

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't.

How scoops of ice cream does a n*gger get? 0.

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

What's worse than HIV? AIDS -Bob Bobby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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