why did a bunch of black kids play in a pile of leafs? to have fun :)

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Knock-Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup-mustard.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? extremely unfortunate...

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What's worse than having a worm in your apple? 2012.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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A man gets pushed in to a pole...

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Why was the cookie sad? It had just been eaten and is currently disintegrating in the hydrochloric acid of someones stomach.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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Q: Where does Cher sit? A: I have no idea.

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How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

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why was the pineapple bullied at school? cuz it was a pineapple duhhhhhhh

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

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Knock Knock, Ow my face

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What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Cars were invented after her death, so she never had the opportunity to learn.

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Why was Jimmy sad? Because he was about to be shot for attempting to assassinate the president.

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I do not want to know, you want to TELL ME so that I can increase the potency of the hypnotic suggestion by... Lets say... A number that if I said would work instantly? I wrote CONDOMS ARE FOR PUZZIES... Which kinda makes sense... Just a line, from the worst game ever.

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Alien vs. Predator = Evil Staplers vs. Evil Jamaicans

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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What day is it? Asked the man with a gun who dislikes music. Friday. Mostly because yesterday was thursday and tomorrow is Saturday. Sunday comes afterwards also. The man says "oh. I thought it was Tuesday."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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