How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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What do you call a taxi driver eating on a gourmet restaurant? A taxi driver.

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What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Oh my goodness! Are you alright?!"

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Vicky is my best friend.

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Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

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How many Jews can you fit in an ashtray? None, it would be ridiculous to even try to fit one in an ashtray.

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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-Knock Knock - Who's there? - Child Protective Services, we have multiple reports of you abusing several of your children...

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roses are red violets r blue jump off a building no one likes u

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A plane filled with English tourists is on it's way from Holland to Spain. It crashes in France. Where are the surviors buried? Survivors aren't buried.

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Guy at computer: My computer won't turn on. Help desk Guy: Did you try restarting. Guy at computer: No. The help desk guy hangs up and the guy at the computer proceeds to cry because he has failed.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

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Why should you never trust anglers? Because they're always into fishy business... Why should you never trust hunters? Because they carry loaded guns...

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Why did Kurt Cobain commit suicide? Because it was drug related

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Why wasn't the tractor moving? Because the farmer was killed in a drive-by shooting.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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A old man walks into a hospital He doesn't come back out

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chipmunk fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Knock, Knock? Who's there? Its Gilly.

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Q: How do you make a clown frown? A: Hit it with an ax.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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